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Why Clients Ghost You (and What Might Be Underneath It)

Hint: It’s probably not laziness or disrespect. It might be trauma. Or shame. Or life.


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You sent the emails. You left the voicemails. You tried the text that was “friendly but firm.”

And still—nothing.


If you're in the legal field, you've probably felt the sting of a client disappearing mid-case. It’s frustrating. You’ve got deadlines. You’ve got pressure. You’re trying to help, and they just… vanish.


But before we write them off as flaky or “not serious about their case,” let’s pause.

Because ghosting isn’t always what it looks like.


👻 What We Think Ghosting Means:

  • They don’t care.

  • They changed their mind.

  • They’re lazy.

  • They’re ungrateful.

  • They don’t respect your time.


Now let’s be real. That’s sometimes true. But a trauma-informed lens tells us there's usually a lot more going on.


💥 What Ghosting Might Actually Mean:


1. They’re ashamed.

Maybe they’re embarrassed they didn’t call back right away. Maybe they forgot, and now it feels “too late” to follow up. Maybe they’re afraid you’ll be mad.

Shame shuts people down. Hard. Especially survivors of trauma.


2. They’re overwhelmed.

If you’ve ever stared at a pile of mail and felt paralyzed, you get it. Now imagine trying to deal with that pile while also living with trauma, poverty, parenting, PTSD, or chronic pain.

Sometimes people don’t ghost you—they ghost everything.


3. They don’t trust you yet.

Especially for clients from marginalized communities, trusting a legal system that’s hurt them—or their community—before is a huge leap.

And yes, that includes you, even if you’re the good one.


4. Their story changed (because of trauma)

Memory is weird under stress. They may have remembered something new, or realized what they told you wasn’t quite right. Now they’re afraid you won’t believe them.

So instead of correcting it, they disappear.


5. They’ve experienced too much loss already.

When your life has taught you that things fall apart, or that asking for help backfires, ghosting is a form of self-protection. It’s easier to pull away first than to be disappointed again.


🤝 So What Can You Do?

You don’t have to chase people endlessly. Boundaries are fair. But you can shift your approach to leave the door open instead of slamming it shut.


Try this:

  • “I know life can get overwhelming. We’re still here when you’re ready.”

  • “You haven’t messed anything up. You’re not in trouble. Let’s figure out the next step together.”

  • “If this is feeling like too much, let’s talk through what can feel manageable right now.”


Sometimes, just reminding someone that you won’t shame them for disappearing makes it more likely they’ll return.


🚪Closing Thought

Trauma doesn’t always look like tears and shaking. Sometimes, it looks like silence. Like missed calls. Like inboxes full of unread messages.


Being trauma-informed doesn’t mean excusing every no-show or dodged call. It means you know there might be pain under the surface—and you meet it with curiosity, not condemnation.


Because sometimes the bravest thing a client does… is come back.

Want to make your practice more trauma-informed?👉 [Download our free legal communication guide here.] https://www.americaninstitutetic.com/_files/ugd/cfbc42_cf3c81fd70fe48bda4c189443879f9cd.pdf




 
 
 

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