The Client Is Crying — Now What?
- krismedina
- Jun 19
- 2 min read
Step one: Don’t panic. Step two: We got you.
You’re mid-intake. Or sitting across from a client in court clothes and exhaustion. And suddenly… the tears start.
Maybe you saw it coming. Maybe it came out of nowhere. Either way, you freeze.
You’re not heartless. You care. You want to help. But no one taught you what to actually do when a human being cracks open in front of you.
Let’s fix that.
😳 First: Why the panic?
Crying makes a lot of professionals uncomfortable. Especially in legal settings where “emotional control” is often mistaken for credibility.
But tears are not the problem.
Your panic? That’s the problem. Because panic leads to things like:
“Don’t cry.”
“Let’s try to stay focused.”
“We don’t have time for this.”
[pushes box of tissues across the table like it’s a bomb]
These responses aren’t evil—they’re just instinctual. You’re trying to make the moment stop feeling uncomfortable.
But the crying isn’t about you. It’s about them. And what they’re holding in their body after surviving something really, really hard.
🧠 Here’s What Crying Might Actually Mean:
Safety was finally felt. Tears = “I’m not in survival mode anymore.” That’s actually good.
They’re reliving the trauma. Memory + legal systems can trigger a wave of emotion they can’t control.
Shame just kicked in. They’re not crying because they’re weak. They’re crying because saying it out loud felt like exposing a nerve.
🛠️ So... What Do You Do?
1. Don’t shut it down.
Avoid saying “Don’t cry” or “You’re okay.” Because honestly? They might not be okay. And that’s valid.
Try:
“Take your time. There’s no rush.”
“It’s okay to feel this.”
“We can pause here if you need to.”
2. Give space and structure.
Don’t emotionally abandon them. Stay grounded. Calm. Present.
Try:
“Would you like a moment, or would it help to keep going?”
“I’ll stay with you through this. You’re not alone.”
3. Keep your body language soft.
Uncrossed arms. Unclenched jaw. Gentle voice. You don’t need to “fix” it. You just need to not make it worse.
🚩 What Not To Do (Seriously)
Don’t joke or deflect unless invited by them.
Don’t force eye contact or pressure them to “finish their sentence.”
Don’t assume they’re unstable or unreliable because they got emotional.
💬 Real Talk: Emotions Aren’t Unprofessional — They’re Human.
You work in a system that often demands people recount their most painful moments in sterile rooms under fluorescent lighting.
Tears are not the breakdown. They’re the release.
When your client cries, it means they feel something. That’s not a disruption. That’s data.
🎯 Bottom Line
Being trauma-informed doesn’t mean you have to become a therapist.
It means:
You don’t freak out when emotions show up.
You stay grounded, even if they’re not.
You hold space like a professional and a human.
So next time the tears come? Don’t panic. Stay. Breathe. Be the calm in the room.
That’s the work.
Want more tools like this?👉 Download our free trauma-informed communication guide for legal professionals👉https://www.americaninstitutetic.com/_files/ugd/cfbc42_cf3c81fd70fe48bda4c189443879f9cd.pdf
Comments